Monday, March 18, 2013

Dumb Shit Hipsters Say

"Existence precedes essence, and Woody Allen's films are the break-even point of existence."

I too someday aspire to reach the break-even point of existence.

Along with other big dreams, like learning how to brush my hair, butter my own toast, pay rent, get the pee in the toilet *almost* every time, and yes, even date the nearest person I'm capable of being flirtatious with.

Because I'm so smart and sensitive (oh so tragically smart and sensitive) that life has traumatized me far beyond being able to practice agency, or cope with the idea of the possibility of the concept of failure, or attempt more than inahalation and exhalation. Instead I must passively cower from it, aspiring to nothing and attempting nothing so that in the event (just in the event) I amount to nothing, I can easily tell myself that was what I actually wanted anyway.

Basically, reader, inside every hipster is a shambling mess of defense mechanisms... nothing else. That's why they identify with Woody Allen so well.

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